Joke Time! Twofer!

WARNING: Judeo-Christian Jokes Coming!

Not, um, not a joke about/against Christians, mind you...just a joke that involves Judeo-Christian themes. I would humbly suggest if you are someone who takes his or her religion seriously and does not like figures in it joked about, you might want to skip this. Also, if you really like lawyers or are one yourself...might want to skip. Everyone else, plunge in!


Joke the First

God was sitting in His throne in heaven one day, sighing over the paperwork. Archangel Michael, delivering another sheaf of papers, noticed His discomfort.

"Hey, boss, you know, you should take some vacation time. We've noticed You are looking a little worn out."

"Oh, thanks, Mike, but where would I go?"

"Why not go back down to Earth? You haven't visited there in a while."

The Lord shook His head. "No. Not a chance. Bunch of gossips down there. I was there two thousand years ago. I had a little affair with this Jewish girl and they're STILL talking about it!"

Joke the Second

God decided to construct a trans-celestial bridge from Heaven to Hell and vice versa to facilitate the crossover of souls the two domains were experiencing. He phoned Satan and told him of the plan.

"Also, Satan, I'll build and finance My half of the bridge, you will do yours."

"Sure thing, Jehov."

God and His angels worked on the bridge and completed it in a fortnight. Satan had not even begun work, and after another week had passed, God phoned Satan angrily.

"Look, Bub, you haven't even started your half of the bridge. What good is a bridge that goes halfway? Listen...if you don't get to work immediately on the bridge, I'll get a lawyer and sue you."

Satan chuckled. "Oh, yeah? Where you gonna find one?"

--Sean