Absence makes the heart grow fonder?

You know, it's interesting to me the personal things people will feel comfortable (or uncomfortable) blogging about. Person A airs all their dirty laundry while Person B talks about their underwear while Person C gives details about their sex life. I think it's great, really. I've found myself more open about things relating to Caedyn and parenting, friendships, my disorder, and even the occassional family thing.

There are a few subjects that I tend to shy away from for personal reasons just like anyone else. Believe it or not, I actually tend toward being a private person for the most part, and those of you who are more observant will notice that even "open" me leaves out a lot of details.

Over the past couple of months, those subjects I feel uncomfortable speaking publicly about have become more and more a matter of daily life around here. Put simply, there's been a shitstorm on the horizon that has finally come ashore, and it's been sapping more and more of my focus from...well...everything else. So, I've been around a little less and less week by week. Even when I am around, I tend to be more quiet than I used to be - a combination of having a lot on my mind and just pure exhuastion that comes from dealing with an increasingly busier day-to-day life.

I went from being pretty consistently online in the fall to something more sporadic and less reliable. Until recently, I've been majorily on at least one chat client - even if just to have an AFK status, so that peole can leave me messages. Last night, I joked with someone I was talking to in game that even when I'm logged into CoX, I'm more often AFK than actually sitting there. Where I used to be able to read blogs and do a little surfing daily, I now feel lucky and informed if I make those rounds once a week.

So, if the past has taught me anything, it's that someone out there is unhappy with me for "ignoring" them, and I'd like to take this opportunity to tell you that's not the case. Even though most of my characters has a tab in their chat window for just tells so I don't miss one, if I auto-log before I get back from my latest run afk, I'm gonna miss it. I'm missing things said in all the channels in the scroll. I'm not logging into my chat clients much at all with the exception of Gtalk, which is attached to my email and doesn't require me to actually click on an icon to turn it on. If I haven't said hello to you or acknowledged your existence, it's likely I missed you saying something in channel. I've said it before, I'm not a mind-reader, so instead of getting mad at me for not saying hi first, say hi or ask me if I stopped liking you out of the blue or...I don't know. Something. I always answer my email, so maybe pop me one of those if you're having no luck in game or in chat clients.

Things here are gonna get worse before they get better. That's life sometimes. My focus is here as it should be. Honestly, what kind of person would I be if it wasn't? Would I be the type of person you really want to be friends with?

The funniest part about all of this is that I just listed a string of misunderstandings to a friend of mine that - much like the above - could have been avoided with some more pointed communication:

Me: "Are you just mad at me or something?"
Friend: "No, dumbass. I'm just uncommunicative and unobservant."
Me: "Oh. Well, hiya. Can we not debate when we've barely got time to talk to each other? I keep misunderstanding it all, and I'm so tired that I'm taking it all kinda personally."
Friend: "Dork."
Me: "Dillweed."
Friend: "Love ya."
Me: "Love ya."

See? :P