Long overdue update

It's hard to write this in light of how long it's been since I updated the blog and shared any news of what's been going on here.

In short, it's been a long, strange trip through my first major depressive episode in a few years. Being bipolar means a lot of ups and downs as a general state of being, but this has been a very deep down - deep enough to warrant new (for me), more traditional treatment. I'm now on a mood stabilizer and anti-depressant and have started talk therapy.

It's hard to talk about this for a couple of reasons. First, I hate being given those same, tired lines borne of pity or discomfort like "I'm sorry you're going through this" or "I hope you feel better soon" and a dozen others that strangely make me feel a little worse. It's like...I feel guilty for making others uncomfortable or unhappy. Secondly, I don't want everyone "looking" at me rather than people who really need to be looked at.

Like Mike, for instance. Mike's the one taking the brunt of all of this. He's the glue holding everything together while I stop functioning. People should be supporting him while he supports me. The guy's working 11 hour days and then coming home to take care of the household stuff I haven't done. I'd rather see people worrying about him.

A friend of mine and I often have the same reaction to the "How're you?" question. We hate it. So, we've decided on "Hi. Drink?" I like that better. No awkward. No saying "Still in suck land". I get a little tired of it. I hate giving the bad answers to that first question.

Caedyn accomplished his walk-a-thon for the Humane Society and raised 95 dollars in the process. I can't begin to tell you how proud we are of him. He's been amazing.

He did, however, give us a good scare on Sunday. I woke up to "Ow! Ow! Oh god, it hurts! Why won't it stop hurting?" and found him laying on his bed holding his stomach. One trip to the ER later, and we have no clue what it was. It could've been some particularly bad gas, or some fluke, or even an allergic reaction to something. (His hands were splotchy, and he was pale.) He's fine now, but we're keeping an eye on him as he heads back to school today.

I'm on Twitter now (as evidenced in the sidebar here), and I'm hoping that the idea of mini-blogging there will be less daunting than updating this blog (as little accomplishments seem easier than big ones right now), so please add me to your follow list if you've got it. I like that I can update it from the cell, and I'll be figuring out how to post pictures here at the blog from the cell as well! The thought occurred to me when I got my hair lopped off last week that it would've been neat to post before and after pics, so I'd like to start doing little things like that. :)

Hope all is well with you all out there in the blogosphere!