Christmas Cards

Another holiday season is here!

So, here's the thing. I love Christmas. It's my favorite holiday, hands down. Except, no one told my bipolar this, and as far as it's concerned, this is consistently the worst time of the year for mood swings, significantly intensified symptoms, and general havoc - even when I'm on my meds (which I am not currently).

This is the first year in a long time that my mother and aunt haven't tried to prompt me to get my Christmas cards out the door, and I'm actually finding myself grateful. You see, the ritual seems to go like this...

One or both of them drops off a box of Christmas cards, sometimes even stamps, at some point within the first couple of weeks of December. By this point, however, I've already begun to short-circuit in some way, and any external factors that I already have difficulty dealing with are increased exponentially. So, I put the cards on my desk, promising them and myself that I will get them done as soon as I can.

And they sit there.

Taunting me.

You see, when your emotional state is in the crapper already and things like not staying in bed all day and taking a shower have become huge hurdles in your day-to-day life, everything you can't get to adds to your list of failures overall when you're beating yourself up as you try to figure out how the hell to get to sleep at night.

I know the steps. Write a list of people you're going to send the cards to. Make sure you have current addresses. Sign each card. Fill out each envelope. Stamp. Take to the post office (because we don't have an outgoing mail slot in our building's mailbox). See? I know them!

At best, what happens is this: Half an hour before my family's Christmas Eve gathering, I hastily sign cards and write names on envelopes for everyone who is going to be at said gathering.

You'll be happy to know that I have finally devised a cunning plan to handle this and finally break the cycle of failure! :)

But, it starts next year.  :P

Next year, I have a 'To Do' entry in my calendar to prepare my Christmas cards the first week of November before what seems to be my yearly holiday freakout, so all that will be left will be sending the cards out - which Mike has agreed to do.

This year, please forgive me for not sending you a card. In fact, if you want to help me out, you have until November 1st, 2014 to email me your current mailing address, and I'd really appreciate the assistance in building my list between now and then!

I sincerely wish everyone out there a happy, joyful holiday, no matter which one you celebrate. May it be full of family and warmth!

--Lela